


One Piece PETs: Terrible Twos

by moonlitinuyasha1985



Series: One Piece PETs [80]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Anthropomorphic, Children, F/M, Terrible Twos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:09:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2508980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitinuyasha1985/pseuds/moonlitinuyasha1985
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The many horror stories of when Belle and Hanako were two years old. Takes place post-timeskip.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Piece PETs: Terrible Twos

**One Piece PETs: Terrible Twos**

 

(I do not, nor will I EVER, own One Piece. This crazy series belongs to the nutty Eiichiro Oda.)

 

 

*****Luffy's POV*****

 

Listen, I love Belle. I really do. She's one of the sweetest girls you'll ever meet. She's my little princess, for crying out loud!

 

   But...there was this one time when she became absolutely unbearable. When she was two years old, she was like this horrid little monster! Don't believe me?! It's the truth, I tell ya!

 

   She'd throw tantrums, she'd pull on Nami's hair, she'd pull on my face, she stuffed baloney in Zoro's boots, heck, she even bit me! ME!!! Her father!!!

 

   She would run around the deck wearing nothing but her birthday suit! She'd even throw her toys at me! Even her favorite wolf plush, Wolfkins! Don't even get me started on the "Mine" phase...I didn't get my hat back for four days. FOUR FRIGGIN' DAYS!!! It was Hell!

 

*Luffy sighs*

 

   Though, I think that the worst thing Belle did was take Nami's jewelry and when Nami tried to get them back, Belle decided that if she couldn't have them then nobody can...and she broke them.

 

   Nami snapped...and she kinda spanked Belle. She was sore for a while...and soon, she was back to her bad habits. She pulled on Blizzard's tail and she actually pulled off some fur!

 

   Poor Blizz...he felt like he could never look at Belle the same way, ever again. Then, there was that one time where she blew up the Usopp factory...Usopp was purple for three days.

 

   Belle even put hot sauce in all of my meals! Do you know how swollen my lips got afterwards?! She even chewed up all of my sandals! And even my favorite coat! I don't feel like the Pirate King without my coat!!

 

After her mischief, Belle would just look up at me with these eyes...and all of a sudden, I can't stay mad at her.

 

...Dammit, I'm weak! I am no match for the power of cuteness!!

 

"Okay, Luffy, no need to get melodramatic."

 

"...Was I really that bad, Daddy?"

 

"...No...?"

 

"Luffy, tell the truth."

 

"Well...just a tad."

 

"Luffy!"

 

"All right! You were a living nightmare!!"

 

"...I was?"

 

*Luffy sighs*

 

"Yes...but, you grew out of it!"

 

"Wow...I didn't know that."

 

"Hey...at least we still love you."

 

"Thanks, Mom."

 

"You're welcome, sweetie."

 

*Luffy kisses Belle on the forehead*

 

"Shishishi!"

 

So, yeah...no matter how much of a nightmare my daughter is, I will always love my little Pirate Princess.

 

Okay, Zoro. You handle this one.

 

"Gladly."

 

*****Zoro's POV*****

 

   Hanako wasn't too bad as a baby. I mean, sure, he did throw tantrums, and he actually bit me and Robin a few times, and he even pulled out some of her feathers...poor Robin.

 

It got worse when he turned two...

 

*Zoro shudders*

 

   What a nightmare. He chewed on the hilt of my swords, and my weights, and he even bit my tail! MY TAIL, for crying out loud!!! At times, he'd bite on my ears, which doesn't really bother me all that much...except when I'm napping. That's when it really hurts!

 

He even put super-glue in my clothes! I mean, my god! He was a NIGHTMARE!!!

 

   He drew on the walls, he painted my face while I was asleep, he kicked me, especially in the you-know-where, he'd run around the deck WITHOUT his clothes on, steal my boots...and chew them up, and finally, he actually dyed my hair yellow!

 

   I LOOKED LIKE THE COOK'S FREAKIN' TWIN BROTHER, FOR PETE'S SAKE!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO WASH IT OUT?!! THREE WEEKS!!! THREE F***ING WEEKS!!! IT WAS HUMILIATING!!!

 

"I'm sorry, Dad."

 

"Sorry don't cut it!! Those were the worst three weeks of my life!!!"

 

"ZORO, THAT'S ENOUGH!!! You're making Hanako feel bad!"

 

*Zoro looks at Hanako and he has a guilty expression on his face*

 

"...Oh. Sorry, champ."

 

"I'm sorry, too, Dad."

 

*Zoro pets Hanako*

 

"Forget about it."

 

*Robin chuckles*

 

   Okay, yeah, Hanako was a pain...though, he's still a good kid. Now, Kuina...she was bad, too, but not as bad as he was. Hell, she was a freakin' angel!

 

   She was mostly a timid little kid. The worst she ever did was doodle on the walls. She'd always hide behind me, Robin, and/or Hanako. It actually was kinda cute.

 

All in all, she was easy to take care of.

 

Belle, not so much...

 

"You think that, too, Uncle Zoro?!"

 

"You put baloney in my boots!"

 

*Belle opens her mouth to argue, then she stops*

 

"That's what I thought."

 

The girl was a little demon! Luffy can't even control his own kid!

 

"Dammit, Zoro, I tried!"

 

"You should've tried harder!"

 

"Oh, what do you want from me?! She always got me with those puppy dog eyes, man!!!"

 

"Oh, puh-lease! Even your own daughter's got you whipped!!"

 

"For the last time, I'M NOT WHIPPED!!"

 

"Could've fooled me."

 

   Anyway...Belle went through the "mine" phrase and she took my swords. She even chewed on them! It was torture, man! Do you have ANY idea how long it took to clean the spit off my blades?! A whole. Damn. Day! That's right! A whole freakin' day! MY GOD!!!

 

   That's not even the worst thing she did to me...she dropped a bowling ball on my tail. It hurt like hell! Took three weeks for it to heal. All in all, Belle was a little menace, but in the end, I can't bring myself to be mad at her.

 

"I'm telling you, man, it's those eyes!"

 

"Yes, yes, Luffy! We know!!"

 

Anyhoo, Nami, you can take it from here.

 

"Right."

 

*****Nami's POV*****

 

   Okay, so Belle was a bit of a handful, that much I know. She's even bitten me a couple times, too. Not to mention pulled my hair, gave me a hard time whenever I tried giving her a bath, ran around without her clothes on, scratched up all of the furniture, pulled on Luffy's face, tore up all of my map paper, which was VERY EXPENSIVE, mind you, and she took my jewelry. This was during her "mine" phase. She even broke one of my favorite necklaces! So, I spanked her. She was pretty pissed after that. She proved this by drawing on my face when I was sleeping...which took a while to wash off.

 

*Nami sighs*

 

Despite all that, she's still my little girl and I'll always love her, no matter what.

 

"I love you, too, Mom!"

 

*Nami and Belle hug*

 

"Awww, look at my two special girls, getting along!"

 

"Okay, Usopp! Your turn!"

 

"My turn?!"

 

"Yes, your turn!"

 

"Oh, boy...!"

 

*****Usopp's POV*****

 

   Yeah, Belle and Hanako were little demons...Belle, moreso. Do you know how many times she pulled on my nose? 236 times. She actually broke it, once! Girl's got a strong grip, just like her old man.

 

"Shishishi! That's my girl!"

 

"Ugh..."

 

   She would often mess around with my pop greens. I can't remember how many times she let out the Rafflesia. I think the worst thing she's ever done was blow up the Usopp Factory...apparently, she found my fireworks collection. I don't even know how she managed to even LIGHT them! It was one of the worst days of my life. To this day, Nami still blames ME! I'm not the one who blew up the place!

 

"No, but you DID have the fireworks!"

 

"DAAAAAAAAAH!!! THERE'S JUST NO TALKING TO YOU!!!"

 

My GOD!!! What does Luffy see in her?!

 

"You know what they say, Usopp. 'Love is blind'."

 

"Ain't that the truth?"

 

Anyhow...Belle may have been a little devil, but in the end, you can't stay mad at her. Sanji, you take this one.

 

*****Sanji's POV*****

 

*lights his cigarette, takes a drag, and then puffs out smoke*

 

I honestly don't believe Belle did what she did on purpose. She was only a toddler at the time.

 

"You're just saying that because she's a girl!"

 

"Oh, shut up, Moss-head!!"

 

   As I was saying, it wasn't her fault. Same as it wasn't Hanako's fault, either. They're just kids. Yeah, they were a handful, but aren't all children the same way?

 

It takes patience and Kuina was pretty tame. Of course, given her timid nature, that's no surprise.

 

Now, my son, Riku...he was a bit of a handful.

 

"'A bit?' Your son was even worse than mine!"

 

"Oh, can it, Moss-head!!"

 

   Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, Riku was a bit of a troublemaker. He kinda broke dishes a few times, not to mention threw food at Moss-head, which was HILARIOUS, in my opinion...

 

"Go to hell."

 

"YOU go to hell!!"

 

   Moving on, he also pulled out some of Vivi's tail feathers. Even though she said that she was fine, I could tell that she was in a whole lot of pain. I think it's mostly because Vivi was just trying to groom him into becoming Alabasta's future king. He is the oldest.

 

"Dad! You're going in on this, too?!"

 

"Riku, don't interrupt."

 

"Sorry."

 

   Now then, Cleo wasn't nearly as bad. All she ever did was bite my fingers. Yes, it hurt, but she was only a small child back then. She only had 4 teeth. Still, she had the cutest smile. Just like her mother.

 

"Thanks, Sanji!"

 

"You're welcome!"

 

Anyway, despite all of that, I love my kids and I always will.

 

"We love you, too, Dad!"

 

*Sanji, Riku, and Cleo hug*

 

"Take it away, Chopper!"

 

"Right!"

 

*****Chopper's POV*****

 

   The Terrible Twos...it's one of every parent's worst fears. Do you know how many times Belle nearly pulled off my antlers? A hundred times! And they still ache! She'd always make a fuss every time she had to have her checkup. Especially when she had to get shots. That was more out of fear than being fussy, naturally. I mean, Luffy's still afraid of needles!

 

"No, I am not! I just...don't trust them, that's all!!"

 

"Wuss."

 

"Shut up, Zoro!!! I AM NOT A WUSS!!!"

 

"PROVE IT!!!"

 

"Uhhhh..."

 

"I thought so. Some Pirate King you are."

 

"SCREW YOU, ZORO!!!"

 

   Hehehehe...anyway...Hanako bit me and pounced on me a couple times when he was two. He'd just do it without warning. I guess it's because he was only a cub at the time. That, and I guess he was copying Zoro when he pounced on Sanji. Cubs tend to mimic their parents. Zoro won't admit to it, though.

 

   Kuina wasn't so bad, in fact she hardly ever got into mischief. She was kinda cute, actually! Though, she was very shy. Poor thing. She'd often hide behind her father, mother, or her older brother, whenever she got scared. She'll grow out of it, I'm sure. Kuina's a good kid, she just has a bit of low self-esteem.

 

Robin, you can take it from here, now.

 

*****Robin's POV*****

 

   I can't tell you how many times Hanako bit me...especially whenever I nursed him. That was AWFUL. You won't believe how swollen my breasts were. I swear, I went up two bra sizes! Zoro couldn't stop staring. I didn't mind...of course, there were points when it got to be too much. It was a very agonizing experience for me...not as much as when I was in labor, though. Now THAT was the most agonizing experience of my life. Then again, I speak for EVERY WOMAN when I say this.

 

"Thank you, Robin!"

 

(A/N: Nami said this.)

 

"AMEN!!!"

 

(A/N: Vivi.)

 

   Things became so much more difficult when Hanako turned two years old...but Belle was probably the worst. She would often pull out my feathers...more than Hanako did. Hurt VERY much, mind you. She tore out all of the pages from my books, she drooled in them, drew in them, the whole like. She even bit me a couple times. There was also that one time where she cut up most of my dresses...almost to the point where they showed my underwear, and until we reached the next island, I had to borrow some of Nami's clothes and they were a little tight...especially on my chest. Again, Zoro would not stop staring.

 

"Hey, can you blame me?!"

 

*Robin groans*

 

"I married a horn-dog."

 

   Anyway, when Kuina came along, things were rather easy for Zoro and myself. She didn't do anything bad. She mostly hid behind our legs. It was rather adorable. All she did was draw on the walls, although it wasn't too serious. I remember one time she actually drew a flower on the wall. It was so cute, I couldn't be mad at her.

 

Kuina's very shy, though. I hope one day, she'll be able to make some friends.

 

*Robin sighs*

 

Yes, Hanako and Belle were a handful, but that doesn't mean that I love them any less.

 

"Aww, Mom. Don't say that, it's embarassing!"

 

"Well, it's the truth."

 

*Hanako blushes*

 

"Aww, look Aunt Robin! Hanako's blushing!"

 

"I am not! I just have a cold!"

 

"That sounds like something Papa would say."

 

"You too, Kuina?!"

 

*Robin chuckles*

 

Anyway, I love my children no matter how much they misbehave. It just takes a little patience.

 

"Well said, Robin."

 

"Thank you, Sanji."

 

"You're welcome."

 

I'll leave this to you, Franky.

 

*****Franky's POV*****

 

   Listen, I love Hanako and Belle, but they were a nightmare! Belle, especially! Do you know how many times they messed with my stomach fridge?! 326 times! They kept switching the cola in me with different kinds of beverages!

 

You do NOT wanna see me when I'm fueled on hot chocolate. SUPER believe me!

 

   There were times when they'd mess around in the Soldier Dock System...How does a 2-year-old break a steamboat?! Don't even get me started on what they did to the General Franky! I mean, seriously!

 

Belle always pulled my hair, even when I didn't have it on! How does that happen!?

 

"No idea, Franky."

 

(A/N: Luffy say this.)

 

   Belle even drink up most of my cola. I tell ya, she was more wired than me! While she was on her sugar rush, she ran around the whole ship, screaming! No one could calm her down! It was a very stressful day for us. I mean GEE WHIZ!!! Thank god she grew out of it...

 

Kuina wasn't as wild as Belle was. In fact, she was pretty tame. All she ever did was hide behind her Mom and Dad's legs.

 

It was kind of a cute thing, really! She was a very shy toddler. I kinda felt a little sorry for her.

 

*sighs*

 

She'll grow out of it, someday. I'm sure of it. With that being said, Brook, your turn!

 

"Right!"

 

*****Brook's POV*****

 

   Belle and Hanako are good children, but when they reached the age of two, they were hell spawn...and I'm not saying that because of who their parents are! That's the LAST assumption I want people to make! I'm only saying this because when most children hit two, they start misbehaving in the worst way.

 

   First off was Young Master Hanako. He would gnaw on my bones the first chance he got. Lucky he never broke them. Though, he nearly broke my spine whenever he would tackle me. That was almost a disaster.

 

   Next was Young Miss Belle. Now, she was probably worse. She would often mess around with my instruments. She broke one of the strings on my violin, by the way, not to mention lost one of my piano keys.

 

I still can't find it to this day.

 

"Hey, Brook! I found that piano key you've been missing!"

 

"You did, Luffy-san?! Where was it?!"

 

"Well, it was on the deck."

 

"The deck? What in the dickens was it doing there?"

 

"Dunno...but it was covered in all this brown stuff...and it smelled like...oh, wait."

 

"...on second thought, I think I can live without it, after all."

 

   Moving on, Belle took my sword during her "mine" phase. Her mother almost killed me because of that. I really did try to get it back from her, but Belle just wouldn't let go! She has quite the iron grip, just like her father.

 

"Yup! That's my girl!"

 

"Shishishishi! I'm strong!"

 

   Lastly is Little Miss Kuina. Sweet child, she is. The only mischief she ever caused was drawing on the walls. Nothing too serious. Kuina would often hide behind her parents or Master Hanako's legs. Cute little dear! Pity she doesn't have many friends. I'm sure she'll grow out of her timidness one day and grow up to be a fine young lady, just like her mother.

 

"Thank you, Brook."

 

"You're welcome."

 

*****Blizzard's POV*****

 

   Ah, yes...the Terrible Twos. It's one of the many things every parent dreads. I've never seen Zoro and Robin or Luffy and Nami look so stressed out. Belle and Hanako really put them through the wringer. Of course, they caused me grief, too! Hanako bit my tail more times than I could count! And Belle did worse! She doodled on my face and tied bags around my feet!

 

What the hell! I thought people only did that to cats!

 

   She'd even drink out of my water bowl...why, I'll never know. Then again, her father's pretty strange, so...I'm not surprised. She even pulled some fur off of my tail...which took 2 weeks to grow back. I could never look at Belle the same way after that...oh, and then she started going through the "mine" phase. She took all of my chew toys! Need I remind you they were COVERED in my slobber?! Clearly, she didn't care! I swear, Nami never yelled at me so much.

 

*sigh*

 

   Oh, well. At least she grew out of it. Next is Kuina and she's an angel compared to Belle and Hanako were as toddlers. She mostly hid behind her parents and her big brother. Poor kid's very shy. The only mischief she ever caused was drawing on the walls. She actually drew little flowers. It was kinda cute, really. Kinda sad that she doesn't have many friends. I'm sure she will, one day, though. Who wouldn't wanna be friends with a sweet girl like Kuina? I mean, seriously, people! Kid needs to break out of her shell! Help her do that!

 

Anyway, no matter how much of a pain Belle and Hanako were as two-year olds, I still love those little rascals.

**Author's Note:**

> The idea came to me, a while back.
> 
>  
> 
> Belle and Hanako were not always the sweet little angels they appeared to be...Kuina is a different story.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy, everyone.


End file.
